Trim The Fat!

Friend.

It's a simple word which is a noun; but, when relating one to yourself, you should consider it a verb. I've been thinking a lot about the word friend; what they mean and should mean to me.

Many times as a Christian, we tend to call 'all' other Christians we meet - our friend! Just because another person is a Christian, doesn't automatically place them in the "friend" category. A friend can't just be someone in the family; they must be someone active in your life. I'm not saying they have to live close to you or even talk to you everyday. They have to have a certain presence in your life where you can tell that they feel your burdens and acknowledge what you go through; both joyful times and difficult ones.

Even God understands the friendship factor; speaking of Moses and Abraham as a friend in
Exodus 33:11; 2 Chronicles 20:7; and Isaiah 41:8 (to name a few).

God didn't just consider them a friend due to how He (as God) treated them, but also due to how they treated Him as God! It was a two-way street. Sometimes you consider someone to be a friend because of how you see them and treat them; but, you don't always consider how they treat you back. It's not a 'you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours' thing. It's more like -

Who can you depend on to show up and encourage you when you're down?
Who can you rely on to pray for you when you can't seem to pray for yourself?
Whose word can you believe when a promise or statement is given?
Do friends only call when there's something they want?
Do they show up only when there's an immediate blessing to be had?

Be careful. Don't be quick to continue to accept that behavior on the friend checklist of qualities. Be careful. Don't be quick to accept that behavior from yourself as well.

Today, Tim and I taught the kids at church about Love - one of the fruits of the Spirit in

Galatians 5:22-23. Love is an action word and it's impossible embrace God's love without His judgement. Judgement is nothing less than consequences to one's actions; good consequences and bad ones. God's Word is filled with His love, but also consequences to any action; good or bad. It's not a negative thing. It's like a warning sign; if you heed the warning sign, a good thing will happen. If you don't heed the warning sign, a not so good thing is going to happen. It's not because God doesn't love us; but rather, loves us so much that He warns us so because He doesn't want to see us hurt.

It's no different with friendship. A true friend is there in deed, not just in word; in action, not just in lip service. Of course sometimes circumstances change and things happen to cause us not to be able to do what we may have said we'd do, but that's when we should communicate that to our friend to prevent hurt or heal an already hurt. But, just like the fat of a good piece of steak is not healthy for you, neither is a friend who never brings anything to the table. The fat may add flavor, but it also contributes to weight problems, heart trouble and possible death. A friend like this may add some fun and good conversation, but they take much more than they give and you began to struggle with being a healthy Christian. It doesn't mean you can't love them, it just means you can't allow them to be part of your main diet.

So to all the friends whom we said we would do something for and didn't, for whatever the reason, we apologize; and to all the friends who may have done the same to us, we forgive.

In one of my favorite books, - John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress" As Retold By Gary D. Schmidt & Illustrated By Barry Moser, -

Christian (the main character) takes the journey to be saved. Close to the beginning, he falls into a bog (marshy swamp water) and can't seem to get out. His "friend" just left him there as he struggles to get out with the burden of life on his shoulders, weighing him down. Help (another character) comes along to pull him out and asks him, "Don't you know there is a ford (shallow area with rocks for stepping) to help you cross the bog?"

Ask God to show you where the ford is; the rocks, so you may have sure stepping through times when life feels bog-like. Ask Him to surround you with the right friends to help when you need a hand and instead of running away when you are at the point of drowning.

I leave you with this:

The Lord give mercy unto the house of Onesiphorus; for he oft refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain:

2 Timothy 1:16 (a friend of Paul's who helped many times when persecuted for the gospel)

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Regardless, all must Trim The Fat, because too much fat is not healthy and we need to be healthy while Living Everyday, Christian!